He Restores My Soul

      The 23rd Psalm was in the front cover of the Bible my grandfather gave me for Christmas when I was 5 years old. The Bible was a children's Bible and it had a beautiful cover with a picture of Jesus, sitting in a field on a rock or a tree stump holding a child on his lap, with other children surrounding them and sheep grazing in the lush green grass in the background. A beautiful, serene picture that drew me in, comforted me and stirred a deep longing in my heart to be in that place of safety and security.
      At the time my brother and I were living with a foster family who had 4 children of their own. 3 boys who were close to our age and a girl who was in high school and called me her little sister. The family attended a Missionary Alliance Church that was within walking distance of their house. I loved going to church with them on Sunday where there was lots of signing, praying and preaching. The people were friendly and showered me with lots of much needed attention.
      I spent the first 4 years of my life living with my natural parents who were neglectful due to their own brokeness. My father was alcoholic and my mom was co-dependent.  We lived in chaos and confusion and we moved several times during those early years. One the houses we lived in was owned by a couple who kept foster children. When my mom left my brother and me with our dad when I was 4 years old and my brother was 5, my dad took us to the couples house who kept foster children. He asked them to keep us until he could find work and then he would come back to get us. I don't remember how long we were there, but eventually a social worker came to pick us up and we went to live with the family who had the four children.
     The family treated my brother and me like they treated their other children and we felt loved. I don't know how long we lived with them, but I do remember celebrating Christmas with them - one of the few magical experiences that I remember having as a child. My favorite presents were a Chatty Cathy doll that my dad gave me and the children's Bible that my grandpa gave me.
     Sometime the following spring, the family we were living with made a very difficult decision to move to Baltimore to be near Johns Hopkins hospital where one of their sons was being treated for a heart defect and was to have major open heart surgery. Many years later when I was re-united with the family, I learned that he was the first child in the U.S. to recieve a permanent heart pacemaker! I also learned then that the family wanted to take us with them when they moved, but our parents wouldn't give their consent. My brother and I returned to the family that my father had left us with when he went to "look for work". And so began a very difficult, confusing and painful chapter in my life. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want"........

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Gen.1:27

     Have you ever wondered what is meant by the following passage, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them"? I have often pondered the meaning of this verse, because so many people do not, in my mind's eye reflect God's image. But what does God look like? Jesus said in John 4:24, God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” Therefore I should presume that God does not have a physical body - since no one has ever seen Him. So it stands to reason that the reference is to our spirits being created in God's image and obviously we cannot "see" another persons spirit. We can only see their physical image. Yet, people exist as body and soul together and both are intricately intertwined to make us the unique person we are.
     When I was in my 20's and 30's my goal in life was to have a "perfect body", so I worked out and tried to eat healthy to keep my body in shape.  I was not aware that I was neglecting my soul. I had brought into the lie that is promoted in our culture that all that mattered was how I looked and looking good was of utmost importance.
     When I turned 40, all that began to change when God began to tug at my heart and I realized the emptiness in my soul. At first it was very disconcerting, but little by little as I studied God's word, I began to understand why my life was in such turmoil.
     My life as I knew it completely unraveled - my only child was diagnosed with a life threatening illness, I quit my 10 year job as a nurse to care for him, my marriage fell apart, my child became completely disabled and eventually he and I moved to another city 1700 miles away leaving friends and family and everything we knew behind.
     Not long after moving to a "strange and foreign land", I had the oppotunity to attend a Joyce Myers conference.  She walked onto the stage and said, "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." I began to cry because I knew that the Lord was speaking to me and ministering to my broken heart. That's when I placed my trust fully in Him, to restore my soul.