When God Becomes Personal

     Recently I, my husband, his brother and his significant other spent a few weeks reading and discussing a book by Earnie Larsen - From Anger to Forgiveness: A Practical Guide to Breaking the Negative Power of Anger and Achieving Reconcilation. The three of them often talked about the pain of growing up in the Catholic church. They had the book, Recovering Catholics - What to Do When Religion Comes Between You and God, on thier bookshelf and offered it to me to help give me a better understanding of their struggles. 
     After reading the book, I realize that the guilt and shame they experienced as a result of their inability to follow rules and measure up, is not at all unfamiliar to me. I too experienced guilt and shame as a child from the trauma of parental abandonment at an early age and being raised in foster care where I experienced physical, emotional and spiritual abuse.
     The following excerpt from the back cover of the book resonates with me - "When God becomes personal, God becomes real. Not before. When God becomes personal, it won't matter if medieval Popes sired children or sold indulgences or if some small minded priest humiliated you.....You will be motivated to get involved in the Church community, to stir up a little fire". Pastor Paul Singh, author of the book Rekindling Your Spirit says, "the church doesn't need any more good boys or good girls! The church needs 'disruptive' girls and boys"  i.e. men and women who know who God is and who know who they are in God and who are no longer content with the status quo.
     17 years ago I began a journey with the living God and that journey has led to significant healing and a changed life! Needless to say, I still struggle occassionally with those all too familiar feelings of guilt and shame, but those feelings no longer control me.
     I am DEEPLY saddened that many people continue to allow wounds of their past to keep them from having abundant life in Christ.
     If you are reading this and you struggle with feelings of guilt and shame and if you truly desire healing, please know, understand and believe that healing IS possible - not through Religion, but through a Relationship with Jesus Christ. If you place your trust in Him, healing will come!

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Gen.1:27

     Have you ever wondered what is meant by the following passage, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them"? I have often pondered the meaning of this verse, because so many people do not, in my mind's eye reflect God's image. But what does God look like? Jesus said in John 4:24, God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” Therefore I should presume that God does not have a physical body - since no one has ever seen Him. So it stands to reason that the reference is to our spirits being created in God's image and obviously we cannot "see" another persons spirit. We can only see their physical image. Yet, people exist as body and soul together and both are intricately intertwined to make us the unique person we are.
     When I was in my 20's and 30's my goal in life was to have a "perfect body", so I worked out and tried to eat healthy to keep my body in shape.  I was not aware that I was neglecting my soul. I had brought into the lie that is promoted in our culture that all that mattered was how I looked and looking good was of utmost importance.
     When I turned 40, all that began to change when God began to tug at my heart and I realized the emptiness in my soul. At first it was very disconcerting, but little by little as I studied God's word, I began to understand why my life was in such turmoil.
     My life as I knew it completely unraveled - my only child was diagnosed with a life threatening illness, I quit my 10 year job as a nurse to care for him, my marriage fell apart, my child became completely disabled and eventually he and I moved to another city 1700 miles away leaving friends and family and everything we knew behind.
     Not long after moving to a "strange and foreign land", I had the oppotunity to attend a Joyce Myers conference.  She walked onto the stage and said, "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." I began to cry because I knew that the Lord was speaking to me and ministering to my broken heart. That's when I placed my trust fully in Him, to restore my soul.